Why are my children crying? Is it because when Audrey finished her last bottle I noticed there were big clumps of formula that did not mix up. Obviously I didn't shake the bottle well enough. Great, now she won't gain any weight because all the nutrients she needed were in those clumps. Or is she crying because she got switched to formula because her mother couldn't produce enough of her own milk and now her once well moving bowels are constipated? Is James crying because since he got switched to formula he now spits up where he used to NEVER? Or his he upset because he is constipated as well?

Audrey is sneezing. Once, twice, three times in a row. Great she is getting sick. Back in the hospital she goes. Did I not cover her well enough while she slept last night? Does she not have on enough clothes? No, the doctor said sneezing is just a reflex. But maybe she caught a chill last night during her bath. Well she doesn't feel warm, maybe she is okay. But what if she is not?

Why does James sound as if he has a gallon of snot in his nose. I just cleaned it out and got absolutely nothing. Maybe he is getting sick too. Probably because his bed is close to a window and it was cold last night and he didn't have on enough clothes. Or, maybe he had on too many clothes, got overheated and that is how he is catching a cold. Or worse. Maybe RSV. No, he is getting shots for that. Very expensive shots. How are we ever gonna pay for those shots? They have to have them. No option. Maybe a money tree will start growing in my back yard tomorrow.

Maybe they are both getting sick because this morning I was on the computer and they started crying and I forgot to wash my hands before I touched them and now they are gonna catch some deadly diesease. I am a horrible mother. How are they ever gonna survive with me as their mother? Now I feel sorry for them. They didn't pick me. They got stuck with me.

What if Audrey turns out to be a serial killer because I didn't hold her enough when she needed it because her brother was crying because he was hungry too. Didn't talk to her enough when it was important and now she doesn't have any social skills and turns gothic when she becomes a teenager because she can't make any friends because her mother didn't have time to make sure she got enough "tummy time" at the right age.

What if James becomes a cleptomaniac when he grows up because his mother paid more attention to his sister than him as a baby. Which makes him do extreme things to get attention. Hurry up feed James so Audrey can get her diaper changed or be held because she is crying uncontrolably. Get done with James and throw him down to get house work done. Poor James.

Hey maybe my children are crying because neither one of them got burped well enough because I didn't have an hour a piece at 3 am to burp them properly. The doctor said " eat slow, burp often" Now I am a negletful mother. But when it takes forever to get them to actually open their mouth to take the bottle how can I possibly stop them to burp them. Because the minute I take it out the other one will start crying because it is 15 minutes past their feeding time and they don't understand why they have to wait. Yep, just like I thought. Now Audrey won't open her mouth and there goes James. So, I let her gulp it down knowing it will cause her to have a HUGE spit later but I can't take James' screaming any longer. Now I am a selfish mother.

Okay, got Audrey down and asleep. Get James and change his diaper. He hates to have his diaper changed and starts screaming. It gets louder and louder because not only does he hate to get his diaper changed he is STARVING because his sissy took to long to eat. Now he has swallowed to much air, has a huge bubble and won't eat. But is still crying because he his hungry. Now Audrey starts crying because James is so loud he could wake up the dead. AHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................

It may all sound dramatic but these are the actual things that go through my head every day. Maybe I am going crazy. Great, now my kids will have to visit their mother in the nut house.....see here I go again!