I told him I was sorry

When I found out I was pregnant with bebe numero quatro it was a little bit of a shocker to say the least. To say the least. I may or may not have cried about having to start all over again. And then I may or may not have cried about crying. It was an emotional rollercoaster around here for the first few weeks.

I had such a rough time emotionally when I was pregnant with Olivia and for the first few months after she was born, that it scared me to death thinking about putting my family through that again. And with older kids this time who don’t forget things any more. And all the time I was going to miss out in Olivia’s kindergarten class. Not to mention the “plans” I had for myself once I got all the kids in school. Lets see, don’t they say ‘We make plans and God laughs?’ And lets not forget having to go through another spinal tap with major surgery. I shed lots of tears. And then one day in the shower I was boohooing and begging the Lord to please send me some peace and He did. It came into my mind that I had two choices: 1. I could fold like a deck of cards and give into all my fears and all the hormonal changes and let it control our lives OR 2. I could put on my big girl panties (literally a few months later hahaha) and do everything I possibly could to make this a fun and happy time for us. The Lord blessed me beyond measure with choice #2 and taught me so many lessons over the course of the last 10 months of my life.

The first night after Henry was born and he was laying on my chest in the middle of the night, I looked down at him and started crying because I just couldn’t believe he was here and he was mine and he was perfectly healthy. And it was so strange to me to think about how scared and worried I was in the beginning and I whispered to him “I’m so sorry I was so scared to have you.”

9 months later....

John Henry Mizell
Born November 28th, 2016 at 8:04 a.m.
Weighed 8lbs, 11oz and was 20 1/4th inches long.

Stay tuned, I plan on blogging again. Hahahaha, yeah I know! Really though, I cannot let this little guy grow up with out the same attention to documentation that his older siblings received. AND I take WAY better pictures now than I did 5 years ago not to mention 9 years ago when I started this blog :) so I have to get back into it. I really lost the desire to take pictures much with my big camera while I was pregnant with him. And I really lost ALL desire and then some to sit at the computer for any length of time. 

i’m setting the bar very low this time and plan on blogging just once a week to start with. I honestly have NO IDEA how I blogged as much as I did when the twins were newborn. Newborns are exhausting and so time consuming. But oh my goodness the joy that they bring to a family surpasses any thing else.

Purple Mysterious

There once was a little girl who would argue with a sign post. Who’s legs were always to tired to walk. Who’s arms were always to short to carry things. Who’s temper more often than not would get the better of her. But she was never afraid to try new things. She was always up for anything.

This little girl was always asking hard questions about Heaven and God and angels; questions that left her mother wondering if she really knew what she was saying when she would try and answer.

This little girl still wakes up in the middle of the night most nights and comes down stairs in the dark to climb in the bed with her mama. She tucks her cold feet into the warmth of her mama’s back and sometimes even asks her mama to hold her hand.

This little girl was also always trying to say hard words and more often than not getting them mixed up. Like purple mysterious for purple Wisteria. 

This little girl was also always listening to sermons and giving commentary. She looked up at her mother yesterday after her father said that we are all gentiles and spiritual Jews and said “Nu uh Mama, we are all Americans.”

This little girl despises being alone. She would rather go to sleep than have to play by her self. She also can’t stand to do school. Complains that it is too hard and it makes her hand tired. Her mother is beginning to think Kindergarten is either going to be a disaster or a disaster!!

Oh how this little girl lights up any room she is in. Her smile and her laugh are infectious. And most days her Mother (and Father) have to fight the urge to just roll up and be putty in her hand. She loves to help her mama with dusting and sweeping and washing dishes. Funny how her arms are never to tired to do the things she likes. She adores her older sister (although that older sister is getting a little too bossy these days) and she desperately misses her brother when he is not at home. Even if she can pick a fight with him quicker than you can say BOO!!

But most of all there once was a little girl who was loved all the way to the moon and back a thousand times.

I’ve been looking for Him

Today was Super Tuesday so of course I did my civic duty and cast my vote for who I would like to see in the race to the big house of white this November. Olivia of course was my faithful sidekick to the polling house this morning. I have the luxury of going during the time of day when I can walk in and walk out in less than 10 minutes!! As we were driving away she had a multitude of questions about what had just taken place and wanted to know who the President was now. She asked the following question: "Who is our President now? Swamp Fox? God? Or George Washington or something?" You cannot make this stuff up people!!

Also, Olivia has had questions for me daily about Heaven and about God. The typical "whats it like up there" and what not. Tonight at supper she asked her daddy and he gave her a really good description of what the bible says it will be like. She thought on that for a while and then looked up at me and said: Is God invisible? Cause I’ve been looking for Him.

I am choking back the tears still, as I type this. I had to come write it all down right away before I forgot. What a blessing this child is and she doesn’t even know it. Thank you, Lord.

Mispronunciations

“Mama why do those Nums call Maria names?"

"I like Weisel the best out of all the children"

“I do not like to eat the chicken breaths!! I like to eat the legs!!!"

“I really like these chaladas, Mama!”

These are four words she’s gotten wrong in the last week and they make me smile each time she says them. Nums and Wiesel get repeated a lot since she is still thinking about and singing songs from The Sound of Music. I cannot bring myself to correct her. I’ve never been able to do it, not with any of my children. There is something so completely innocent about listening to children get words wrong. 

How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?

Audrey has been asking to watch The Sound of Music for a while now so last night, since it was just the 4 of us, I put it in for a few minutes before bed time. Just enough to get them interested so we can finish it over the weekend. We watched up to when Maria first meets the children as I knew seeing those kids would get them interested if they weren’t already! Audrey was totally into it from the get go, James however, ehhh. It took seeing those kids...

While Maria was on her way to the Von Trap’s and she was singing, James put his hands on his head and exclaims “Why won’t she stop singing?” I informed it him that "this is a musical" and he threw his head back with a big groan and said “I HATE musicals.” Ooops. Sorry, son. I’m trying to broaden your horizons. And you live with a bunch of girls.

Wisdom Wednesday

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, 

people will forget what you did, but people

will never forget how you made them feel -

                                                  Maya Angelou