Friday, February 24, 2012

Of glamour technicians and back seat drivers

Audrey and James played beauty shop the other day. They were quite sneaky about it. They had been getting along swimmingly that morning, playing in their room together ever so sweetly. I got a little suspicious and peeked in on them on time and they were behind Audrey’s doll house playing like they usually do when playing with her doll house. So, I quietly closed the door and went back to whatever it was I was doing. A little while later while I was giving the baby her bottle Audrey came up to talk to me and I thought her hair looked a little “strange.” I knew I had asked Sis. Jenny to trim the ends off when they were with them last week but it just looked so weird. So I said “Audrey, did Sis. Jenny cut your hair?” And Audrey said “Not last time.” That’s when it hit me, SHE had cut her hair. So I shriekingly (my spell check tells me that “shriekingly" is not a real word....) said “” And she sheepishly replied “But James gave me the scissors.” I tried hard not to freak out but when I went in their room so she could show me the evidence, I found a ton of hair. And not just her hair. Strawberry Shortcake, Lemon Meringue and Blueberry all saw the glamour technician that day. The more hair I found, the shriller my voice got. It could of been a lot worse, I guess. She could of given herself a nice set of bangs straight across the forehead but she opted for the side swept look. She took 2 big chunks off the front up to her chin so my Peach is sporting a cute little bob now.

The evidence that I collected

The sassy little bob

James oh James. I love him. I do, really I do. But sometimes.....he can be so aggravating. Now I know he doesn’t mean to be that way, all of the time, but when he gets in these moods of it is his way or the high way you just about can’t live with the little guy. And you should try driving in a car with him. Oh good grief he will make you want to pull your hair out!! He is the world’s worst back seat driver. I just thought my daddy and uncles were bad. Last Sunday I literally threatened to leave him on the side of the road in the rain if he didn’t hush. We were like 20 miles from the church we were going to and we passed a church that he saw out his window and for the next 20 miles he insisted that I had passed the church and had to turn around. He was NOT havin that I knew where I was going and that we did not pass our church and that we did not need to turn around. I tried every volume and every tone of voice that I possibly have but there was no convincing him that "his mother knew what she was doing". So I eventually started saying “You are right honey. Ok, we do need to turn around.” And that would satisfy him until he saw that I was not turning around and he just got even more put out with me because I wasn’t turning around. I am not kidding you when I say that this lasted the entire trip to the church(and lets not forget all the red lights I ran and stop signs I didn’t stop at). And when we pulled up in the parking lot at Cool Springs I said “Well, James, did your mama know what she was doing or what?” I got a sheepish little grin and a barely audible “Yes, ma’am.” Every time we get in the car these days he sees a red light that I ran or a stop sign that I missed or he thinks I am going the wrong way and just hardly wont be convinced other wise. I love him, I do. Really I do but the back seat driving has got to stop!!!!!

Upset because he wasn’t holding Alivi!

Now he’s happy!

Disclaimer: I would never really leave my son on the side of the road. Rain or no rain :)


Nelda said...

BAHAHAHAHAH...Love your life and that you're pinning it down!~ You need to write a book! And get it published! And make a million!!!

Emily said...

If Gabriela's carseat is STILL rear-facing when she's 4, I will refer everyone to this post for an explanation. At 29.8 pounds, we still have 5.2 pounds before I have to turn her around...that will be a sad, sad day. I've long suspected that my driving life is simpler with my children not being able to see my every move. You have just confirmed this belief for me! haha (Note to self: Move all household scissors to an undisclosed, locked location.)

P.S. Love that I am 2 years behind you on the kid thing. ;)

the ladner family said...

Emily they will find them no matter what !!! And it will grow back , but it is infuriating at the time ! When isabella did it , she had a mullet, so it could be worse !