Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Lead me home

Upon arrival in Atlanta, the doctor’s saw that little Cooper’s heart was much worse than initially thought. He wasn’t strong enough for surgery and it was going to take baby steps to get him there. He had Coarctation of the Aorta as well as a few other problems stemming from that defect. I knew that I had to go be with them, if only to just give them all a hug and turn around and come back home. So I called Sis. Jenny and Bro. Sammy from our church and they gladly came and got all the 3 kids so I could take off to Atlanta. I made it up there late Tuesday night. And I am a very big girl for driving thru Atlanta at night by myself and NOT GETTING LOST!!!! Which, that was thanks to my sweet cousin Kelly who just happens to live right around the corner from the hospital where Cooper was and she gave me fantastic directions. Kelly also opened her home to me that night to sleep and I was so very thankful for that too!! I spent the day with Shannon and Brett and the rest of the family at the hospital the next day till about 4:30. I was blessed to be able to get back and see Cooper before I left and I will forever hold that memory dear to my heart. I needed to leave and get back to the kids so I did and about half way home Ms. Robin (Shannon’s mom) called to tell me Cooper had taken a turn for the worse. You have no idea how hard it was to not turn that van around and go back. I cried pretty much the rest of the way home. The Lord called Cooper home the next morning while he was in his mother’s arms and surrounded by his grandparents and aunts and uncles.

As I stated in an earlier post, Shannon and I grew up together. I was 4, my sister was 8, and Shannon was 8 months old when my family moved back to Danville where my daddy grew up. Shannon has an older sister that’s 2 years younger than me and the 4 of us quickly became inseparable. Over the years we did just about everything together for many, many years. And we’ve been there, together, for all the big things in each other’s lives. Learning to tie shoes, falling out of trees, getting run over by go carts, spinning wheels in parking lots, falling in love, breaking up, learning to drive, graduating, getting engaged, getting married, having babies and experiencing death in our families. Even though time and circumstance have distanced us physically and our lives have taken different paths, we can still pick up where we left off like there’s been no time lost. There’s a bond that runs deep between all of us, not just us girls but each member of our family. In the few years before Jon and I got married, Shannon and I got especially close. Our personalities are so very much a like. You never imagine the loss of a child when you are youngins playing together. And when you grow up, you never really imagine it. So when it happens, you just can hardly believe it. And it’s so hard to watch some of your dearest friends in the world have to go through it. As a mother you think you can imagine what they are going through but I can’t. I mean I look at my 3 children and try to imagine what it would be like, but I can’t get my mind wrapped around it. The pain I felt/feel for Shannon and Brett is so great and I wish I could take it from them. I love them both so very much and if ever there was a time I wish I was “home” it’s now.

Cooper’s funeral was the most comforting funeral I have ever been to. Even thought it was the saddest circumstance, it was the most comforting. The ministers that spoke were so very blessed with comforting messages and the songs chosen were beautiful. I have been to funerals where each and every song just rips your heart out but the first and last were not that way. They were very upbeat and gave you hope. The middle song was the tear jerker and I want to share the lyrics with you. Jamey Johnson wrote it and sings it and you should look it up on youtube or itunes to hear it. It’s hauntingly beautiful.

I have seen my last tomorrow,
Iam holding my last breath,
Goodbye, sweet world of sorrow,
My new life, begins with death.

I am standing on the mountain, 
I can hear the angels songs,
I am reaching over Jordon, 
Take my hand, Lord lead me home.

All my burdens, are behind me,
I have prayed, my final pray,
Don't you cry, over my body, 
Cause that ain't me, lying there.

No, I am standing on the mountain, 
I can hear the angels songs,
I am reaching over Jordon, 
Take my hand, Lord lead me home.

I am standing (Lord, I am standing) on the mountain ( on the mountain ), 
I can hear ( I can hear the angels songs ) the angels songs,
I am reaching over Jordon, ( over Jordon )
Take my hand, Lord lead me home.
Take my hand, Lord lead me home.

Please keep Shannon and Brett and the rest of their families in your prayers. It’s going to be a long road ahead of them. They are blessed to have a daughter, Taylor, that’s 19 months old and she has been a ray of sunshine for them and has given them a reason to push through. Thank God for Taylor.

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