As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the Lord is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him. For who is God save the Lord? or who is a rock save our God? It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect. He maketh my feet like hinds' feet, and setteth me upon my high places. Psalms 18:28-33
Tuesday was a bleak day. It hit us with a hard punch in the gut. We felt(and still do) as if we were walking around in a dream. All I kept thinking was "can I please go back to Monday and just stay there? Please." We do not have a definite diagnosis yet but the neurologist I took James to see said he appears to have Cerebral Palsy. Of course they want to run tests to get a clear diagnosis so, on March 27, James will have an EEG (to measure his brain activity) and as soon as an appointment can be made, he'll go have an MRI(to see where exactly the problem is). He has to be sedated for both procedures. He will also start PT, OT, Speech therapy just as soon as the referal is made. Dr. Ayala said he feels that it is Cerebral Palsy because of the stiffness of his left leg, the stiffness in his ankle and the fact that he walks on his toes. To be honest, after he told me he thinks our son has cp and explained why he thinks this, I lost track of what all he said. I was doing my very best to keep it together until I could get out of there. I was alone, as no one foresaw us getting this kind of news at that appointment. I had to wait 4 long hours before I could see my husband and tell him what our sons future may hold for him. It was just about the longest four hours of my life because I wasn't going to tell any one before Jon and I couldn't talk to anyone because I couldn't keep it together for longer than 2 minutes.
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of a good report; if there be any virtue, if their be any praise, think on these things. These things which ye have learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philippians 4:6-9 & 13
I still feel as if at any moment I will wake up from an awful dream. I keep thinking "is this really happening to us?" I mean, you thank God every day for the beautiful blessing of your children. Seemingly perfect, healthy children. You've shed tears of sorrow and uttered many prayers for friends who have faced things of this nature. You know how blessed you are. Still, NOTHING can ever prepare you for the day it is your child that is possibly facing a future of struggling to walk and talk and God only knows what else. NOTHING can prepare you for the shock, the pain and the numbness that you feel all at the same time. NOTHING. But, thanks be to God that we are "rooted and grounded in the truth" and that "our house is built upon the Rock". Thanks be to God that there is a constant "help in time of need".
We hesitated to share this news in such a public way since we do not have a definite diagnosis yet. But we believe in the power of Almighty God through the power of prayer. Prayers for strength to face the coming days and months ahead as we wait. Prayers to heal our son of whatever infirmity he may have. So, we are humbly asking that all of you pray for our little family. Please pray for grace and strength to endure and peace to accept whatever it is that the will of God holds for our precious, precious baby boy.