Thursday, May 12, 2011

John 16:21

John 16:21 reads: A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world. I am stretching this verse slightly. I did not give birth the natural way with the twins nor will I with their baby sister. And there are lots of other mother’s out there who had c-sections like me or who adopted their children and will never experience the true “travail” that is being spoken of in this verse. But it can apply to all mother’s, I believe, no matter the way their children were born into this world.

Raising children can be the most exhausting, frustrating job in the whole world for two reasons:
1. Most days James and Audrey have more energy than I can even imagine having and
2. One minute they can have me so frustrated with their rude behavior, sassy tongue and straight up defiance (among a mired of other offence’s) that I just know I have gone horribly wrong somewhere and am raising two little heathens. And then the very next minute they can be the absolute most adorable and sweetest little children God ever created! Especially when they are sleeping. It doesn’t matter what they have done with in a days time, each night when I go in to kiss them before I go to bed, their little sleeping faces are so angelic and innocent, it makes me forget each and every frustration I had with them that day. I believe firmly that the Lord makes them that way on purpose! I remember like it was yesterday, after having a particularly stressful day with the twins when they were infants (which was almost every day) and being at the edge of insanity, I would go in and watch them sleep for a little while. It would calm me to my very core and remind me how blessed I truly was to have them, no matter how hard it was. Even with Tookie baby I know it’s true. A few nights ago I was having a horrible time. I was sooooo tired and couldn’t get comfortable to save my life. No matter the position I got in, my stomach felt like it weighed 3 tons and every muscle and bone in my body ached. Not to mention the fact that baby girl was practicing for the 2020 Olympics by punching my bladder, kickboxing my ribs and doing somersaults. I was miserable and completely over it. Then I went in to kiss Audrey good night and there she lay, sleeping so peacefully with her mouth partially open, one arm flung over her head and the other draped around her Minnie Mouse. Amazingly my aches and pains and grouchy mood melted away as my heart flooded with emotion and I thought “Yes Lord, I know, it is all worth it.”

p.s. Just in case you couldn’t tell, the pics today are old, from 2009. The other day I found a flash card I had forgotten about and oh what a joy it was to see so many pictures I’d totally forgotten about! Some I just had to share!!


Dianne said...

Looks like I'm first in here. I'll be quick. 'manda, your blogs NEVER fail to make me: (1) Remember. Like it was yesterday I was experiencing these same conflicting emotions with my own babies; (2) Cry a few bittersweet tears over the realizations you're having at an early point in your 'development'; (3) LAUGH. I've SO been there, big as a BLIMP, feeling SO ugly and unnecessary...unable to rest at a certain stage. I surely appreciate every blog, every word, every experience...'cause I'm a Mama and love you.

Beth said...

Thanks for sharing! You made me cry! It is so hard to always keep the best attitude but at the end of the day it is all worth it! I've been thinking of you and praying for you as it gets hotter and you get more miserable!

Becky said...


Sam and Nelda said...

Oh my goodness... Sweet words of wisdom~ Sweet momma that loves her babies~ Sweetest lil' pictures! They are blessed beyond measure with their momma...nb

Sydney Sanders said...

absolutely adorable!