Breastfeeding 102

DISCLAIMER: IF YOU ARE A MAN AND YOU CONTINUE READING, YOU HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOURSELF. JUST SAYING. 

James, bless his heart, can make things so very awkward. So very awkward but he gets it honest. I will let you decide who he gets it honest from. :) Add that to being almost 10 years old and then throw in a first time nurser that has to let it all hang out in order to get the job done right and you end up with a hermit mother that goes to her bedroom every 2-3 hours and locks the door when the kids are home. Yep. I did that. Still do to some extent. Oh and I never talked about it. They thought I fed him from a bottle because they were around on the few occasions that he has been fed from a bottle. And here is where this story begins.

Last month some time, Jon was taking James to the coast for the day to fish. That left me with the suckling infant and the 2 girls. I wanted to take the girls shopping for Easter dresses so I knew the day had come to tell them what really goes on behind that closed door.

I told my self to stop being so silly and just tell them. They are girls. They will be women one day. And that day is approaching sooner for Audrey than I like to think about so I told my self this was the perfect time to start awkward conversations with her. Maybe it will help in the future because I am determined to not be awkward with my girls about life and what all it means to not only be a mother but a woman. So, I pulled those granny panties I’ve been sporting the last few months up around my neck and this is how it went:

Me: Girls, do you know there are 2 ways to feed a baby?
Girls: No ma’am
Me: Well there is, one with a bottle and one called breast feeding. (Ugh! There is that word again!) Do you  know what that is?
Audrey: Well, I know what breasts are.
Me: Well, okay.
Olivia: I don’t know!!

One most know that in our family we call nipples/boobies, boogs. Yes, boogs. Audrey started it when she was just a wee little thing and it has stuck!

Me: Well Olivia, breasts is another name for your boogs. So breastfeeding means.....
Audrey: Looking at me with a very weird look on her face
Olivia: So Henry sucks on your boog to get the milk out???!!!???
Me: Yes!
Olivia: Ewwwwww!!!!! That’s so gross!!!!!
Audrey: OLIVIA!!!!
Me: It’s not gross, that’s how God designed a mama’s body to be able to feed her baby.
Olivia: So, you squeeze your boog and squirt milk into Henry’s mouth?

At this point when she says that, she literally throws her self on the couch dying in laughter. Like, uncontrollable laughter. Audrey doesn’t know what to think. She wants to feel awkward but wants to laugh at Olivia and what she is saying. So she looks at me and when she sees that I am almost crying from laughing at Olivia she joins in. What a great moment in my life, yall!! We had the best day after that. They were curious and Olivia wanted to look and all that stuff and had several comments to make like how can he sleep and eat at the same time? That sure is a big boog, mama. :)

Like I said, we had the best day after that. I could feel that they felt special for me letting them in on my “secret.” We definitely bonded over it. Sometimes I feel like such a nerd for being weird about it but, then I wonder, if I had been candid with them about it from the beginning would we of had that same great experience?


****update since I actually wrote this*** Olivia asked me the other night after coming into Henry’s room abruptly  "so did Henry suck all the milk out of both your boogs?” bahahahahahaha this child!